downto142:

frettedtoflame:

renrevenge:



I’M FUCKING SCREAMING OMGGGGGG THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE 90S TO ROMANTICIZED BY NON-90S KIDS FUCK

I feel like a legend.

Oh man.

downto142:

frettedtoflame:

renrevenge:

I’M FUCKING SCREAMING OMGGGGGG THE TIME HAS COME FOR THE 90S TO ROMANTICIZED BY NON-90S KIDS FUCK

I feel like a legend.

Oh man.

(via crawlcarrymethrough)


jtumblr:

plundr:

This is the funniest thing to ever happen to Canada

I have never been prouder to be Canadian

(via crawlcarrymethrough)



ONE TIME I PAUSED BEAST WARS AND THIS HAPPENED

fabulips:

image

OPTIMUS PLZ


tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Telmo Pieper Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings

Previously: Everyday Objects Turned Into Creative Illustrations


the-gingerdancer:

deathpoolquinn:

chookiemunster:

pale-blue-knot:

this was so important to me when i was young and i didn’t even know it

Wait… a… moment…

WHAT

i missed that entirely, holy fuck haha 

(via cross-hawk)


darkpathos:

"You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain." 

(via crawlcarrymethrough)


kissmyasuka:

altlitgossip:

'do u believe in lief after loev' by Caden Lovelace

im so mad because this is going to get picked up as like. a post-post-modern masterpiece. academics will shit themselves for this

(via crawlcarrymethrough)


One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via kanyequeen)

"you’re a guy. You always get yours." Nope. LIES.

(via cross-hawk)


thefandomsrulemylife:

stellavee:

queenhawke:

folie-a-dookie:

notyourspecies:

Sexism on tumblr. I know your hearts are in the right place but still, this is bad.

this is powerful

it’s because it’s the absolute other way around anywhere else. stop.

No, this needs to be seen. It’s not okay to demean another sex to defend your own. If you wanted to be treated as equal, then you treat others as equals as well. You can’t fight sexism by being sexist. You can’t fight hate by hating. It’s that simple.

that last comment is the truth

(via crawlcarrymethrough)